This morning I was just about to hammer out a whining, complaining post on my old keyboard. Something about a computer that keeps telling me "Aw Snap..." as all my windows turn stark blue. Something about feeling like our lives are always in the wind and I miss being home on the weekends. Something about not having the ebb and flow of a sleepy Summer schedule.
But before the rant began I decided to visit a few blog friends that I aspire to be. I went to Pioneer Woman and read about her three weeks here and a photo shoot there and a cookbook tour yonder. And, like cold water, I was reminded that (1) I'm not that in-demand; and (2) My schedule is not that difficult.
Before I played Gladys Kravitz, I was going to creatively spin a negative tale for you... About how we traveled to a new market on Wednesday and it was such a bomb that as we drove home in that spectacular lightening show, I wondered if I haven't been listening closely enough to where God wants us to be. If maybe I got it wrong. If maybe our income should be more... um... normal. Or if maybe I'm too tired to know the difference.
But after I realized that (1) I'm not that in-demand; and (2) My schedule is not that difficult, I recognized the need for taking my eyes off myself. So in an attempt to refuel, I visited someone else I aspire to be at A Holy Experience. That familiar piano she has playing in the background - it made me close my eyes and breathe slow. I read about "a grimy boy that leaned over a garbage heap, wiping his fingers along the inside of a food tray, looking for anything left". About "wanting comfortable more than wanting Christ". About wanting to Pin with abandon to escape the ugly. And I'm ashamed of me.
I wish I could tell you that I turned a corner and that grateful contentment has taken over. That I now see what a ruffly pretty cloud my day-to-day is. Um, no, I'm still tired and still secretly wish my dear, sweet Mr. Blessing had a "regular" job with dependable income and vacation pay. And that I was once again a regular blogging Pinning mom. But I'm reminded that this is far from more-than-I-can-handle. I'm reminded that God rarely calls us to be comfortable. That God is making my husband and I into a team, dependent on one another and dependent on Him. That our children are learning to work by watching us work and working along side us. That, in places that used to be foreign to me, we are becoming stronger because of our financial weakness.
His grace is sufficient for me, that His power is made perfect in weakness - Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.