A Vintage Heart

Having 4 children that span the ages of 6 to 18, I'm finding this to be a strange place. Still holding the young ones' hands as we cross the street but having to let the older one make his own life changing decisions.

Sometimes I feel old. Sometimes I'm still the youngest mom in a group. Sometimes I get weepy thinking about how fast the last 18 years have gone by and how the next 13 will surely go just as quickly. I can hardly stand the thought of sweet child number 4 leaving. But then there are also the times when I think with excitment toward the freedom that's coming. I've never been an adult without young children. I'm making some plans... Wondering if I'll have the energy at 53 to take dance classes... Will I age gracefully?

I don't mind getting older, it's the stuff that fills those years that I'm pondering. I'm contemplating time... minutes... moments, but more so the opportunites. I've decided that there isn't any more "when I grow up..." It's time to "be present", to be who I've always hoped I'd be, to create the moments that I've alwsy wanted to have. I have to snicker a little as I think, "Isn't it just like a girl with a vintage heart to always look for the memories?!"

(P.S. There a beautiful mannequin on the French Cupboard blog today Come on over and see!)

12 comments:

  1. There must be something in the air at the moment, I have been pondering the same thoughts, as my middle child turns 18!My youngest is 15, so Im quietly panicing inside, wondering where my path will lead...
    Sue

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  2. Oh my dear Polly, we are on parallel tracks and going through the same thoughts, feelings, experiences. I can tell you that it is somewhat freeing to have the opportunity to find yourself and finally have the opportunity to be who you always wanted to be. There is a bit of bittersweetness as we let go of our kids. It sure isn't easy, but learning to live your own life instead of theirs helps. I keep thinking that we need a support grooup for mothers of young adults, lol. I wish I had known 10 years ago some of the things I know now. About how important it is as a mother and wife to have your own goals and dreams and what a positive influence that can be on our kids rather than making them the center of our universe. focusing 100% isn't helthy for them or us. It makes them selfish and robs us of a healthy sense of ourselves.

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  3. This is a very thoughtful post today. I can vouch that a 53 year old empty nester will have enough energy to dance!
    I loved my girls at each age and stage of their growing up, and now I can say that having adult children is wonderful. While I am lonesome at home, I remind myself that it was my goal in parenting... To launch them into the world, where they will be happy and successful.
    Have a happy day ~Natalie

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  4. Polly,
    I have been feeling that same way lately. My middle son will be 18 n a couple of days and my baby is only 8. My daughter is 26 and just made me a grandma last year. I feel like I'm getting old. All of my babies are growing up!


    Come by and sign up for my 1st giveaway.

    Hugs,
    Lee Laurie

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  5. i learned a valuable lesson in the past 24 hours.....to stop thinking of this world.............of course, that doesn't mean abandoning the things we like, but to always please Him, and not others or ourselves.......

    being a mother is a total self-sacrifice.....and it sounds like you are doing a great job.

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  6. Sweetie! I am so glad 2 hear that someone else is feeling my pain & thinking my thoughts. I too find myself wondering & worrying and I just have to remeber to let go and let God be my compass for my future.

    Sheila

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  7. Don't worry - mine are forever coming back to stay in the nest I thought would be empty.
    Life is good
    Alison

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  8. Hi Polly (:)
    ..........everything looks wonderful on here...
    Hugs, Patty

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  9. Isn't it wonderful how, with so many people reading our thoughts here in blogland, there are ALWAYS those that can relate to exactly what we are feeling? My son has been grown and out of the house for several years now, but I can relate to the part about it being time to be who I always hoped I'd be. I can't just sit around and let life unfold. I need to take part in it, and make things happen. At 45, I need to design my life, and live the way I've always dreamed. Thanks for a wonderful post!!

    Karen
    My Desert Cottage

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  10. My advice, if i may, is to stay limber keep stretching,plea-ing,and pointing those toes! Oh, and take your calcium lol. Your thoughts on the looking for those memorable moments is so profound. To drop what you think must get done, just to listen, be with,and be our children's audience will make all the difference! In the light of eternity they are what matters most. They won't be the only one's spreading their wings when they are grown.

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  11. Hi Polly,
    My first born will be 30 years old this month...I'm 54...Life is GOOD!! You know that I am also a Grandma and LOVE THAT!!...
    You will be Fine and It's All Good!!
    Look forward... :)
    Warmly,
    Deb :)

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  12. LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE the dress form! Just Gorgeous!
    Artful Blessings,
    Kathryn

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"Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting."
-- Author Unknown

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