Having 4 children that span the ages of 6 to 18, I'm finding this to be a strange place. Still holding the young ones' hands as we cross the street but having to let the older one make his own life changing decisions.
Sometimes I feel old. Sometimes I'm still the youngest mom in a group. Sometimes I get weepy thinking about how fast the last 18 years have gone by and how the next 13 will surely go just as quickly. I can hardly stand the thought of sweet child number 4 leaving. But then there are also the times when I think with excitment toward the freedom that's coming. I've never been an adult without young children. I'm making some plans... Wondering if I'll have the energy at 53 to take dance classes... Will I age gracefully?
I don't mind getting older, it's the stuff that fills those years that I'm pondering. I'm contemplating time... minutes... moments, but more so the opportunites. I've decided that there isn't any more "when I grow up..." It's time to "be present", to be who I've always hoped I'd be, to create the moments that I've alwsy wanted to have. I have to snicker a little as I think, "Isn't it just like a girl with a vintage heart to always look for the memories?!"
(P.S. There a beautiful mannequin on the French Cupboard blog today Come on over and see!)