My mind has been all scattered about lately - twirly, if you will. I can't seem to focus on one task, one needful thing, or even what I want to blog about. One moment I think, I'm going to write, "I've fallen off the wagon - the ebay wagon" and then tell you about my two new purchases, but then you'd surely wonder when was I ever on the ebay wagon?? I wonder if I should tell you that I'm living on little sleep because one of my children is having nightmares every, single night. What helpful advice that may evoke and I need helpful advice (in so many areas). Should I share that my sister (who rarely speaks to me and to whom my heart is heavy with missing) is battling pneumonia but won't answer my calls. I worry. I'm sad. Is there a difference where she is concerned? Perhaps I should not bear so much so openly. You all may think that it's I who needs treatment =) I'm not a wreck, I'm really not. Just a bit twirly.
Focus requires time and I haven't had much lately. I've had unexpected guests this week. Not the out of town kind that aren't really welcome and stay forever. Not the show-up-for-dinner kind. Just some lovely friends that I haven't seen for a while, each one dear to me. Stopping by because they were in the neighborhood. 
And they came bearing gifts. Surprise gifts. Not the flowers behind the back kind. Not the lady in the cake kind. One gift came wrapped in a garbage bag all tied up with little gourds and berries attached to the twisty-tie. Followed by, "I gotta go, gimme a hug." One gift was simply the spoken words... "I enjoy coming here. You give me joy." After she left, I cried a little wondering how I possibly brought joy, and knowing that it was again God words, speaking something that wasn't meant for me to hear, just to speak. More than one friend has shared a prayerful email without any reason to send it. I love that God gave me "the gathering together with believers" when I was alone in my kitchen! An award appeared on my doorstep this week from two separate bloggers. It's humbling and I think, "They only see the part of me that I let them see. Am I real in front of them? Of course not, at least not entirely. Who could be?" There's a sometimes wiggly line between thankful and grateful. Better to be twirly with friends that bless than focused on my own life. For that... deep, unspeakable gratitude!
83) Friends who come to the back door, not the front.
84) Phone calls, because "For some reason, you just popped into my mind today..."
85) Award givers who I've never personally met, but find joy in words that I used to be afraid to write.
86) Words that God provides because His words are never empty.
Twirly girl photo from Twirly Girl Shop
I just 'happened upon' your blog and sure enjoyed my visit. I will be back! How good of God to use friends to encourage us.
ReplyDeletePolly,
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it can be when a sibling shuts you out. I am very sorry that is happening with you. I am experiencing the same thing with my brother, it has been a year and half since I last spoke to him. God, is good and sometimes I forget to be thankful to him and for him in my life. He obvisiously put your friends on your doorstep to remind you how important you are to people. I look forward to coming to your blog everyday.
(((hugs)))
Laurie
hang in ther, GF!
ReplyDeletePolly...
ReplyDeleteLike Esther said...
Hang in there!
Priscilla
HI Polly, my daughter used to experience nightmares a lot when she was little. It got to the point where she was afraid to go to bed. We started praying with her that God would protect her dreams and not let any bad thoughts or dreams come to her while she slept. It worked, God took care of it and it was a powerful example to her that God works. You may have already thought of this but I wanted to share just in case you hadn't. Ometimes we forget that God cares about even things like nightmares:>)As for the reality of blogging, I wonder about this "fantasy world" too, but if it helps bring out the best in us how can that be bad? I start to wish that I could meet some of my blogging friends though, because we really seem to have so much in common!
ReplyDeleteHi Polly. My son has had nighmares off and on since he was about 6 months. He screams out in the night and sometimes he will cry in his sleep. It breaks my heart for him and I feel helpless because I can't stop them. Last year it got really bad and as I was talking with a friend about it she told me that she had read that taking a vitamin supplement can make nightmares worse for some people. It had something to do with the mineral content. I stopped giving him the vitamin and he has only had an occasional one since.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure that this is even applicable to your daughter, but I thought I would pass it on just in case.
I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family.
Rhonda
Ah Polly-I'm sorry you're feeling 'twirly'. I've always loved that word ever since Phoebe used it in an episode of Friends! It's tough when children have nightmares- I think it's a phrase lots of them go through-I know I did. I remember they went on for ages, and in the end my mum and dad got fed up and wouldn't let me sleep in their bed anymore. So everynight I dragged my quilt right outside their bedroom door, and slept on the wooden floorboards -they just stepped over me! I grew out of it eventually, it just takes time and patience maybe, and I know you have lots of patience! Hope you get some much needed sleep soon xxx
ReplyDeletePolly dear, everyone gets twirly from time to time. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. Just hang in there and rely on God to see you thru this hurdle. Know that you are blessing to all who read your blog, share your thoughts, laugh with you, grieve with you, whine with you. I think that if you didn't experience times of twirliness how would you really be able to appreciate the times of stability? Much love to you!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Julie
Dearest Polly,
ReplyDeleteI love the way you express yourself. What you may deem as sharing to much...or not enough is a portion I personally have come to cherish. Go ahead and twirl girlfriend, we'll twirl with you and when it all starts spinning, we'll be right here to help you keep your balance.
Hugs,
Dena
You know girl... you aren't twirly... you are just real! Thank you for being 'transparent' with us! If I were abit south, I'd stop by and give you a hug too! You really bless my day...keep it dear!
ReplyDeletePolly, twirly is part of life! We are all a bit twirly at times and usually that is when we are real...
ReplyDeleteI hope your son's nightmares go away. There has been alot of good advice here to try. I don't remember my sons having repeated nightmares.
God sends us friends when we need them. It is so nice that you your friends stopped by.
Hugs,
Penny
I am sorry that you are feeling twirly. Hopefully things all even out for the weekend. I am so glad you keep your faith through it all, it helps.
ReplyDeleteMichelle
My sister was that way for a long time. Then I had blow up all over her. She and I are best of friend now. Sometimes you just have to let it be, and other times you have to do something. God will let you know. you just have to remember all thing in his time. Not ours.
ReplyDeleteLove Erin~
Oh Polly......I wish I could come and give you a hug. I know how you feel about your sister...my husband was in a silent battle with his brother that lasted almost 3 years...it weighed very heavily on him..he reached out many times to his brother and finally just put it in God's hands.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any nightmare advice for your wee one but I hope it gets worked out soon so you can get some rest.
Love and Prayers to you,
Robin
87) You bring me joy too!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you are an amazing blogger because you know how to word things while making me giggle. I like to giggle. And you love God (which you should) and He appreciates what you are doing for Him. And I appreciate what you do for Him (and me). There, I'm done now :)
Dear Polly, I feel sad that right now things are so twirly, for you. Life throws us curves...but with time they will pass. You have a kind heart and giving spirit and I feel you do share much of yourself, for this I am grateful. Linda
ReplyDeleteI never could have imagined all those years ago when I first met you that you had such a beautiful depth of soul. Karen
ReplyDelete