Which Fork???

We did something last night that we rarely do. Our family went out to eat... at a sit-down restaurant. All of us. It costs so much to take everyone out that we don’t do it very often. In fact, to the misfortune of the child who might choose to stay overnight with a friend, we usually pick that night to eat out, specifically because we have one less to feed. We happened to be just outside of our city (dropping off someone else’s child, because apparently we don’t have enough of our own) and it was dinner time, of course. We pulled into the parking lot and went over yet again the financial crisis we’ll be thrown into if the children refuse to eat off the kids menu; The severe punishments that will be awaiting at home for anyone who fights with his or her brother or sister; And again that the creamers on the table are not to drink; You probably can stand the salt shaker on it’s end but you may not; And do not ask for dessert... and so on...

We always get the biggest semi-circle booth so inevitably hubby and I can’t reach someone and that someone is conveniently the one misbehaving. My 4 year old has to tell everyone we pass on the way to our booth, "My name is Davis". And he likes to add, "shamalamadingdong". No, I don’t know why. When the waitress arrived, I did what I always do. I ordered what I knew the little ones would eat. The waitress pretends to listen to what they want and then I tell her what I want them to have. However, one of them managed to order a half pound cheeseburger. (To his credit, he ate it all...somehow! He was licking ketchup from under his fingernails as we were paying, so no money wasted there!)

Once the orders are placed, then the creativity begins. Tic-Tac-Toe, breaking all the crayons in the cup, how much ice will fit on the spoon, etc.... Our 6 year old daughter who hates coloring during school hours was very insistent that she HAD to finish the place mat-coloring sheet by herself and "Stop touching my crayons, stupid!" So this is the conversation between our 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son:

Son: Did you know that cheese is made out of mustard?
Daughter: Out of what??
Son: Cheese.
Son: I mean, mustard.
Daughter: Jesus is not made out of mustard!! He isn’t made out of anything!
Son: Yes, He is, dummy, He’s made out of God!
Daughter: So God is full of mustard?
Son: "Mom, why didn’t you name me Shark boy?"

(p.s. Don’t forget... Friday is Yellow Rose Day!!)

(My dad made that lamp for me last Summer. It's just the right height to poke someone's eye out! But I adore it and I adore him.)