Aw Snap...

This morning I was just about to hammer out a whining, complaining post on my old keyboard.  Something about a computer that keeps telling me "Aw Snap..." as all my windows turn stark blue.  Something about feeling like our lives are always in the wind and I miss being home on the weekends.  Something about not having the ebb and flow of a sleepy Summer schedule.

But before the rant began I decided to visit a few blog friends that I aspire to be.  I went to Pioneer Woman and read about her three weeks here and a photo shoot there and a cookbook tour yonder.  And, like cold water, I was reminded that (1) I'm not that in-demand; and (2) My schedule is not that difficult.

Before I played Gladys Kravitz, I was going to creatively spin a negative tale for you... About how we traveled to a new market on Wednesday and it was such a bomb that as we drove home in that spectacular lightening show, I wondered if I haven't been listening closely enough to where God wants us to be.  If maybe I got it wrong.  If maybe our income should be more... um... normal.  Or if maybe I'm too tired to know the difference.

But after I realized that (1) I'm not that in-demand; and (2) My schedule is not that difficult, I recognized the need for taking my eyes off myself.  So in an attempt to refuel, I visited someone else I aspire to be at A Holy Experience.  That familiar piano she has playing in the background - it made me close my eyes and breathe slow.  I read about "a grimy boy that leaned over a garbage heap, wiping his fingers along the inside of a food tray, looking for anything left".  About "wanting comfortable more than wanting Christ".  About wanting to Pin with abandon to escape the ugly.  And I'm ashamed of me.


I wish I could tell you that I turned a corner and that grateful contentment has taken over.  That I now see what a ruffly pretty cloud my day-to-day is.  Um, no, I'm still tired and still secretly wish my dear, sweet Mr. Blessing had a "regular" job with dependable income and vacation pay.  And that I was once again a regular blogging Pinning mom.  But I'm reminded that this is far from more-than-I-can-handle.  I'm reminded that God rarely calls us to be comfortable.  That God is making my husband and I into a team, dependent on one another and dependent on Him.  That our children are learning to work by watching us work and working along side us.  That, in places that used to be foreign to me, we are becoming stronger because of our financial weakness.


His grace is sufficient for me, that His power is made perfect in weakness - Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

16 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this struggle. It encouraged me today...we are dealing with unemployment and a bit of an overdose of "family together" time, but really, there is NOTHING to complain about! You said it more prettily that I can. :)
    Blessings to you!

    -april

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  2. Thanks for sharing this post which is a reminder to me that life isn't always what you want it to be, but there are many more out there that have it much worse and I have nothing to complain about!

    Enjoy your weekend.

    xoxo
    Kathleen

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  3. Sometimes I wonder....what could I have done different....so we could a. have more money...b. have a bigger home, c. be more popular....then the Lord speaks to me to be content in whatever place I am....I think we all have struggles...whether a job, a home, children, sometimes everything all at once. God's grace is sufficient...when we need it!

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  4. Boy, I needed to read your post today!! God sent me exactly where he wanted me be. And your last lines "in blue" are ones that I am also being called to walk in my faith over. Thank you so much for sharing!
    Many Blessings to you and your family and prayers for a peaceful weekend,
    ~Theresa.

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  5. And your children will be better for the lesson learned by watching y'all. The day will come when you see them giving their best as adults because that's what you gave them...you.
    Bless you dear heart. I needed the reminder today of how important to count the small blessings as well as the big ones.
    Deb

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  6. This was a very good post for me to read today as I must admit I haven't been very proud of me either lately... Sometimes admitting it is more than half the battle and our struggles can be very difficult....I do know I have been very blessed... Maybe not as much as some others but much more than some others...All things do work out but most times not like we have in mind... acceptance of that is so important.... sending best wishes your way..

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  7. I need a refocus too...
    Off to visit with the WORD!
    Thanks for your words of encouragement and sharing your heart.
    Blessings, Doni

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  8. What a great post. I think many of us often struggle with the "what ifs"..the "I should haves" and the "I could haves". MyHero and I worked together for many years and it often wasn't pretty....but it was where we were supposed to be at that time. Blessings to you- xo Diana

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  9. I have seen you and your hubby aka Mr. Blessings work together at shows and the flea market and you make a great team and totally enjoy the people around you. You are soul mates for sure. You two are really a great team together with the business. Enjoy that time making something together. Couples now a days rarely get to work together on something so wonderful.

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  10. Your beautiful post brought everything into perspective - where does God want us?

    That little tugging at our hearts is constant and I'm so happy I read your post tonight.

    Blessings to you and your family.
    May the light shine on your next road trip.

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  11. WOW!!! you go girl...
    Such words of inspiration and encouragement....God does want us to be totally dependent on HIM....I had forgotten that AGAIN!!! thank you for the "gentle" reminder....

    blessings on you and yours,
    Cindy♥

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  12. Perspective...our journey often rests there if we let it.

    So glad I found my way to your blog...
    Kari

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  13. Polly,
    Words we all needed to hear.We all have struggles in one way or another.Some financial,some deal with health,children and so on and so on.But even with struggles I know God is watching over and guiding us.We don't always like the way things are going.But if we continue to keep our faith God will show us the way.He will never leave us!
    xx
    Anne

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  14. Yes precious ladies - we have all been there..When our blog titles and content lift up the name of OUR LORD in some way..the one who roams 'to and fro' seeking whom he can devour' is going to try to steal our peace and contentment. PTL he does not have to defeat us.
    So many God fearing, God loving precious talented ladies in this land of THE BLOG-JOY-JOY

    Jonell

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  15. I appreciate these words from your heart...I have been blessed at how you and your Mr Blessing have worked together...and your children have learned so much! But it is a hard life, I know.
    Rene'

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  16. I could have written this Post myself... and know that your struggle is not an uncommon one... and in Sharing you have Encouraged others that are going through a similar experience. I agree that when I'm malcontent or down, it is usually then that the Lord Reveals to me the Blessings that perhaps I am not focusing upon in my own Life... that my focus has instead been upon only that which is less comfortable or challenging. That when I refocus with a Grateful Heart and take my eyes off of Self and Minister to others who have Struggles that perhaps I can alleviate in some small way, it is then that I am more accutely Aware of how Blessed I Truly am. Not that I don't still wallow a bit or that its all sugarplums and rainbows *Winks*... but my perspective has a lot more Clarity and a Positive Energy comes to replace the Negative one that attempts to dominate and take hold. May you be Encouraged, Uplifted and Energized by the things that make your Heart Sing and Soar! I know that when I visit your Beautiful Blog it does those things for me on my less than Lovely Days. Blessings and a Virtual Hug from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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Something worth sharing...
"Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting."
-- Author Unknown