I Confess...

I've been tagged to tell you 7 things about myself that you might not know. As I'm a very guarded person, there's likely lots you don't know. I'll start with something simple and try to be more detailed than I was last time that I was tagged with this one.. (1) I LOVE Josh Groban's music. I can't understand most of it, but I love it all the same! Listen to those lyrics... "I'm staggered by your beauty, your unassuming grace.." Oh how can your heart not "fall into place" at the sound of that?! AND I loved this movie (Painted Veil). Definitely, definitely rent it! (2)I've been accused of being passionate. Probably most redheads have but sometimes I wonder if what's meant is something more like "impetuously, dramatically old fashioned". (3) I know they have a bad rap but there's something about gypsies that I think is beautiful. The caravan, the bright clothes, the wild hair. I couldn't have that lifestyle but I love the look of it. It kinda goes with victorian in a mixed up way - a bit like me! (4) Pink is not my favorite color and shabby chic is not my favorite decorating style. I know, catch your breath =) My favorite color is actually purple and though I like shabby chic, I adore Old World style AND the romantic style of Marie Antoinette. (5) I drive an SUV that I really like but my dream car would be one of the new hardtop jeeps with big, knobby tires. Can you imagine? Me in my romantic jacket bahaing on dirt trails? Can't help it - I've always been a tom-boy at heart. I love dirt bikes, horses, well-worn blue jeans, flipflops, roses and all things beautiful! (6) I got pregnant as a teen and now my son is nearly the age I was when I got pregnant. My heart is breaking in having to let him grow up. I swell with pride when I hear him tell my little ones, "Don't talk to mommy like that!" He's my lovey but he wasn't the child that changed my life. (7) I got pregnant with my second child in the middle of a divorce (same dad). It was one of those last ditch efforts to reconcile. Two weeks after moving back in with him, I was moving back out. I couldn't put another child through it and I wanted off the ride. It was in that very alone and very sad and very empty pregnancy that God rescued me. Noah means peace. (8) Over the last several months I have been praying for a complete release from my ex-husband. Though he isn't using drugs or alcohol as he used to, he still has visitation with Noah and is not the influence he should be. I can't and won't talk to Noah about my prayer but I'm clinging to this verse, "Peacemakers who sow in peace will raise a harvest of righteousness." James 3:18 (9) During that marriage, I moved 9 times. I was terrified that he'd steal the boys and yet I loved him in some sick way. I'm still afraid of him. While married to him I wasn't allowed to keep a journal and writing has always been a huge passion in my life. I started this blog as an outward expression that I am not afraid to write anymore. (10) It's only because of God that I breathe, that I write, that I love. Without trusting Him, I'm a ball of fear. With Him, I'm impetuously, dramatically passionate about life!