Out of Control

Last night as I lay awake (probably because of that yummy Diet Pepsi I drank at 8:00p.m.) I thought up so many great things that I want to blog about! Is this a sign that I have a problem? And I can't help but wonder about these people who start various tags... I heard of one today that sounds like fun: 12 of 12...you take 12 pictures of a day in your life on the 12th day of each month. I think I'm going to calendar that one for next month (since I already missed it this month). But I wondered if I could start a tag and what would it be? We had another big storm last night. The lightning was blinding. But since I was up already, I pondered the tagging issue and decided that if I were to start a tag it would be this: 5 things I wish I could control. Perhaps no one else but me is a control freak. It seems I always worry whenever there's a situation that I can't control. Maybe it's a mom thing. Maybe it's a night-owl thing. Maybe it's just my thing. Maybe I really shouldn't have drank that Diet Pepsi! Some people get up and pace the house at night when they can't sleep. Some count sheep. Some watch the clock. Some read. Some watch TV. I blog...

So as the minutes tick away, let's pace through the house together. I'll show you around while I name 5 things I wish I could control.

(The extra bed in my bedroom -for kids with bad dreams, sick tummies, etc- before I changed curtains - yet again! I think I still like these best) 1. If I could control who enters the lives of my children, that could change everything for them. No broken hearts, no ex-spouse's bad parenting, and so on... But if they never encounter bad influences, bad relationships, or friends who aren't friends, would they grow to be good parents themselves someday?

(Back when I had the baby business, one of my favorite fabrics was Michael Miller's Cowpoke. I was SO FORTUNATE to find these gianormous wood wall mounts that someone hand made for their grandchildren!! They match the Cowpoke guys perfectly! Purchased at a resale shop in Rockton. My youngest son calls them "my cowboys" and he talks to them as he's falling asleep) 2. The hours in a day... If I could decide how many hours the days would have, I could get so much done, spend more time with the kids, go more places, take more pictures, spend more time growing my relationship with the Lord. But what a responsibility it would be to need to know when to stop.

(This ever so retro stove was out for the trash! I wish I would've taken the whole thing but I just couldn't lift it! This portion serves as a shelf in our black & white subway tile bathrom. The pillow was from a store up in Door County) 3. Is it too cliche to say that I wish I could control the weather? Afterall, if the sunshine and gentle breezes bring happiness and good moods, shouldn't we have more of them? Of course, then the flowers may lack for a drink and the whole atmosphere may change if the Midwest only had snow the week of Christmas & only had a deep freeze when I didn't feel like taking the children to school. Our allergies may all overload if Fall stayed for a few more weeks and Spring didn't leave so quickly.

(An old barn window with just a bit of chippy green paint left... It's the window to my imagination =) as I imagine that someday the kitchen it hangs in will get a proper decorating! And that's the best photo of a rose that I ever took. You can't see it from here but there's a rain drop just about to fall off it) 4. My weight - oh, but supposedly I can control that. But it seems I really can't! You know it'd be on your list too. =)

(The entry off the living room... Didn't I tell you that I have this Old World taste?! I just can't decide on one style to like best. And please pretend that the stuffed doggie on the landing is not there and the candle in the candleabra is standing straight. I bought the candleabra at an estate sale - a welder made it for his wife. Since my dad's a welder, I knew it was meant to be. And I've hauled that dutch door from house to house. It's never fit any of our doorways but it was worth the $7 we paid to rescue it from the grass it was laying on at the yard sale all those years ago! 5. Our financial stability... Well, I guess if I didn't like so many pretty things, I'd have a little more control over our money. And if the kids didn't go to private school, need new shoes every 3 months or have to visit the dentist... If we didn't need to eat (or if we could just get by without any snacks)... If, if, if... Would there be anything to enjoy without all those things we enjoy?

So this is what I've realized this morning about being in control... I probably wouldn't be so good at it. My judgment isn't spot-on most of the time. My time seems to always be mis-spent so more of it would border on giving me me enough leash to hang myself. Praise God that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His ways are NOT my ways (Is 55:7-8)